On each of my children's birthdays, I recall the miraculous moment that they entered this world. Even as little wrinkly newborns, they were perfect and beautiful. I have been trying to imagine Maggie's birth. She was born to parents who kept her for two weeks. Two weeks. I have tried to imagine what it would be like to decide that my sweet newborn, baby girl would be better off in the hands of someone else. If faced with that decision, could I make it? I don't think so. It would be a heartbreak like no other.
It may be a little foolish to make assumptions about what Maggie's birthparents thought. Perhaps I am wrong to think that they did not want to give her up, but I will choose to believe that because they gave her a wonderful gift. It doesn't seem like much, but it is so much more than so many orphans in China receive.
Maggie was left with a note. On that note was her birthdate and her name. Her name. Parents do not name children they don't intend to keep. Especially when this name can serve as a way to locate the parents who have illegally abandoned their child. They took a risk by leaving this note with her, but by doing so they left her with love. They left her with an identity. I am so completely grateful for this gift.
As I celebrate the life of a little one on the other side of the world, my heart aches for my sweet girl's parents. It aches for the conversations that she and I will undoubtedly have one day about the circumstances surrounding her birth and the subsequent loss of her parents. It aches that we live in a world where parents must make such tough choices, and children must endure such loss. I have great hope in our God, who I know will never leave or abandon us. I will assure Maggie that she has never been alone--even during the time two weeks after her birth when she waited to be found. I know that His Father's heart broke as she waited. For her. For her parents, who He also loves. And He is breaking our hearts for what breaks His.
While my thoughts today are of our precious girl getting a birthday cake and having a day in her very large orphanage to celebrate her, I also am thinking of her birthmother. What must her thoughts be today? I pray that the peace of the Lord will surround her and keep her. Her daughter who she loved enough to carry, to keep for a short time, to name, and to leave with a note, will soon have a family. We will cherish her, love her, and teach her about her Father in Heaven.
My wish today on Maggie's birthday is that somehow her birthmother could know that her little girl is going to be ok. It is with great humility that we feel completely blessed to be her family.
Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you.
Jeremiah 1:5
Jeremiah 1:5
1 comment:
mary beth,
i have loved you as my sister for 7 years now, but my love and respect for you has grown so much deeper these past few months, even more so in the past few weeks of reading your blog. reading your intimate thoughts that led you on this journey towards maggie causes my heart to break and swell at the same time it seems. she is going to be overwhelmed with love and i cannot wait to be a part of it. one day, when she is old enough to understand her journey, and she is able to read her mother's thoughts, as you waited for her, she will know this is all part of God's incredible plan. It will surely be an emotional experience for her to understand, but one with such a wonderful ending/beginning.
love,
mandy
p.s. just to make you laugh, please know that you have causes me to make a blubbering fool of myself in starbucks. oh well, hopefully they'll just assume i'm stressed over this organic i'm studying. :)
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